New Blog Post: Listen


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God knows everything about you. He knows when you sit down or stand up. He knows your thoughts even when you are far away. He sees you when you travel and when you rest at home. He knows everything you do. He knows what you’re are going to say even before you say it. He goes before you and he follows you. And He places His hand of blessing on your head. [Psalm 139:1-5]

Sit with that for a minute.

God knows you.

He knows your physical body.

He knows your thoughts, even when you think you are far away from Him.

He knows your actions, your words, and the space you inhabit.

He surrounds you with His presence.

And, can you picture this?

He places His hand on your head and blesses you. Is there a sweeter, more reassuring image than that of your good Father resting his hand on your head to bless you? I don’t know one.

God is not surprised by the Corona virus.

God is not MIA.

He is present. He is good. He cares for you and wants good for you.

Invite Him. Notice Him. Talk to Him.


He loves you and is with you, and He’s on your side.

I pray you can rest in that today.

With Us (from Dec. 2012)

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Christmas is upon us and it really is the most wonderful time of the year. But I think you’ll agree, that in the midst of all the wonder, there’s a whole bunch of extra work and stress and a much longer to-do list. And I’m behind. I’ve taken to counting the hours I have between commitments to see if I can actually squeeze everything in.

We have a full household, with three sons living here, a few who come and go, and an assortment of their friends coming in and out at all hours.  We have a couple of bands that practice in the basement, two constantly shedding dogs, and you know… just a lot of traffic in and out of here, which creates a lot of mess. And did I say that we’re busy? We are not a “lay around the house” kind of family. We do stuff. And in our hurrying, we leave things everywhere, to be picked up at some unspecified later time.

I occasionally run into someone who claims to “love” to clean, to live to organize… whatever… I can’t relate. But, you know the type- those people who are obsessive compulsive about household cleanliness… The ones who wipe up messes immediately and disinfect the bathrooms every day? Well let’s just say there are none of those living at our house.

So I was almost literally flying around my house today picking up the piles of stuff, mostly to move them to other more organized piles. As I watched the dust and dog fur through the mid-morning sun streaming in the window, I secretly fumed. Everybody had stuff everywhere. There was laundry on the kitchen table, a Star Wars Death Star (still in the box) lying on the kitchen counter- our youngest is 19 and swears it’s not his. There was crinkled used wrapping paper and glitter on the coffee table, and assorted shoes, socks, and jackets on almost every level surface.

My manger scene was on its back, under the Christmas tree with a pitiful few presents, as I hadn’t gotten around to wrapping yet. The “stable” structure acted as mere receptacle for the inexpensive Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus figurines, who lay in a jumble with a couple of farm animals and regal wise men, waiting patiently to be put in their places (and silently mocking me.) That hadn’t been taken care of because of the piles of jackets that were on the table that was their usual display spot. It was 3 days before Christmas, and I didn’t even have the holy family in residence yet- so much for Jesus being the reason for the season and all.

My brain went rogue and did a mental inventory. Did my Christmas decorating reflect my faith? Were there signs anywhere in my whole house that our family celebrated Christmas because of Jesus? I could think of one thing… a banner depicting the nativity in my dining room. Fail. *sigh*

I moved away from the tree to the kitchen and started sorting another pile. I needed to clean off the surface of my kitchen hutch to make room for what was supposed to be stored there. I brought the trash can over and started pitching. As I leafed through an inch high stack of old mail, long forgotten “official” paperwork from a school that my boys hadn’t attended in years, user manuals and warrantee information, I saw some photos that had been stashed there during some other long-ago clean up. There was a studio picture from the school photographer of my son and his then-best friend. It was so sweet. I didn’t know school photographers did that, and I didn’t remember ever seeing this one. I set it aside.  Here was a snapshot of another son working with babies in the nursery at our old church. The baby smiled broadly as he was being rocked in a large rocking chair by my 8 or 9 year old boy, who gazed tenderly at this anonymous little one. Another showed a birthday get together, my son, the birthday boy gleefully holding up his present for the camera. I finished the pile, restashing anything valuable, and moved to the dining room.

As I begrudgingly evaluated the situation there, a thought came into my head and I banished it quickly. Why was it that everyone else’s stuff bothered my so greatly, but I forgave my own messes without hesitation? After all, I was busy. I worked hard and put in a lot of hours. I was entitled to leave my stuff wherever I wanted in my house. Right? But they… they were being irresponsible, lazy and… well… messy. Yes, that was it.

Whew. This was big. The large dining room table (seating for 8, but we’d often sat as many as 12 around it) was almost completely covered. There were college text books and an antique trumpet in a rectangular case that Jake had brought home from his first grown-up road trip. A tangle of evergreen garland reminded me again of my failure to get the house “ready for Christmas.” I’d get to that today, I promised myself. Or I’d dump it back in a rubbermaid bin and get it out of sight until next year. Here was a tray of jewelry making supplies, for one of my creative outlets, which now had a fine covering of dust on it, seeing as it hadn’t been touched in several weeks. There was more laundry, a pair of shoes on a chair and a variety of jackets slung across the backs of chairs. This is the room where Jake gives music lessons. Two chairs reflected his teaching arrangement, set facing each other, apart from the table, though it had been a week since the last lesson. I sighed and pushed them back to proper placement, calling it a day. Really, it had only been an hour, but I needed to get ready to go. I was taking one of our young friends out to practice driving and to test for his driver’s license.

I’d made some progress, but not enough. There was still the living room, the family room, and miles to go before I slept. I glanced at the snow men arranged by the front door, crowded and disheveled because of a few more pair of size “Large” shoes that had been shed and left, and my heart softened. This was life at the Stergos home. We have boys. And dogs. We have schedules and lessons and classes and jobs. We have meals together, around the table or in front of a movie. We laugh a lot. We hug. We invite people into our family and love them. We make cookies and eat gobs of dough. We make fun of our dogs, quote favorite movies, have late night popcorn, are addicted to more than one TV drama together, and we make messes.  And we have God- right in the middle of all of it, because He chose to come into our mess. He came here, to us and to you, because He wanted to be with us.

I had failed miserably to put “signs of Jesus” into my Christmas decorating, but there were signs of Him everywhere in the middle of my failure. I just had to notice and remember. We are a family that celebrates Him all year long. We know of His presence. We celelbrate Him in sunsets, in laughter, in daily chatter or late-night conversations.  We see Him in each other. We see Him in you.  And there is evidence of Him, even in our piles. God is with us, because in His boundless love for us He chose to be with us. He is Immanuel, literally the “with us God.”  He is with us in our crumpled wrapping paper, glitter on the coffee table, jumbled on the floor nativity moments. He is with us in our everyday laughing, crying, mourning, celebrating, mundane and wondrous lives- becauseHe loves us.

 “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14  

Thank you God, for the reminder. Merry Christmas.

New Blog Post: The Way to Joy

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My 92 year-old father has been sick. He has beaten cancer twice and is tougher than anyone I know, but he is only human, and his body is failing him these days. I visited a few days ago and spent a few hours doing some of the things that he loves. We took a long drive in the countryside to see some of his favorite places – meadows full of summer wildflowers in wild abundance, streams flowing swiftly with sun glinting like diamonds off the surface and vistas of rolling Missouri hills topped by white cotton-ball clouds. At 92, you’re allowed to have dessert first, so we went for ice cream cones and then came home and had his favorite soup and a red ripe sliced and salted tomato. I settled him into his big Lazy-Boy recliner to rest and reluctantly said my “goodbye” and “I love you.” He thanked me for my time, apologizing for “putting me through all of this” which made me cry as soon as I shut myself into the privacy of my car.

I drove home weary and sad, still tearful and grieving. As my husband and I prepared dinner, I tried to express the slow loss I was feeling and the sadness that had settled over me. He prayed over our meal and then added a prayer for my dad, “God, restore joy to him.” Then he added, “And bring joy to Chrissy, too.” I cringed and thought, “No! Don’t spend anything on me! Don’t divert any of our prayer for me. Save that for dad!” … as if God had a pie chart from which He measures His blessings, and any joy to me would result in a smaller chunk for my dad. I heard God’s whisper. “That’s not the way it works with Me. I am the author of all good things. ‘All the world is mine and everything in it.’” (Ps. 50:12)

God’s economy is vastly different than ours. God is not finite, nor are His blessings. When God wants to give joy, he doesn’t have to take it from someone or someplace, diminishing some heavenly storehouse – He just speaks it into existence – as much as we need. And the thing that seems to open wide the faucet for us is our gratitude. Our recognition of God as our Source and our humble thanksgiving to Him seem to be key to experiencing joy. In Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts she beautifully states this truth: “The practice of giving thanks … is always a practice of the eyes. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see (emphasis mine).”

What is the “way I see”? Do I see lack? Do I see deficit? Am I enviously comparing my life with other people’s lives, my stuff with their stuff, my work with their work or my fun with their fun? Or do I see God’s goodness to me? Can I see and be thankful for His faithfulness, His steadfast love, His presence with me – even in my pain and regardless of how I feel? Because the way I choose to see Him will change my perspective and when I choose well, gratitude supplies me with abundant joy, even in the midst of sorrow.

To see and thank God for the good He has given is only the first step in choosing joy. When we choose to thank God for even the hard things, trusting He is for us, joy prevails. As we give thanks in all things, choosing to trust that even in our pain and bewilderment, God is working toward our good, joy takes up residence and abides in us – without limit, abundant and overflowing, not parceled out stingily, but with lavish generosity!

Scripture tells us that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights… (James. 1:17).” My father is one of many “good and perfect gifts” that the Father has showered upon me. The grief I am feeling for him in the present, while heavy, is dwarfed by the awareness of God’s great goodness in the giving. It is up to me though, to choose the way I see. Would I choose no sorrow at the sacrifice of the gift? By no means! I would 100 times choose the gift of my time with my dad even knowing that there would be great pain in the letting go. When I, even in my sadness, choose to thank this Giver of gifts, my joy is restored – not replacing my sadness, but far outweighing it.

And at the end of the day, I find myself grateful even for the sadness – for it reminds me of the goodness of the gift and the infinite love of the Giver.









Recapturing Peace


What causes bath bombs to fizz? © ShutterstockI have been learning lately about mindfulness meditation, and one thing that has become clear is that I’m not very good at this practice. Mindfulness meditation is about quieting yourself, paying attention to the details of your present experience without analyzing or fretting. I try to gather my racing thoughts into a meditative state with deep focused breathing and sheer force of will, but golly, it is hard. I’ve just come off of a long season of frenetic activity, constant intake of information and a deficit of stillness. My formerly peaceful brain has been on overdrive for so long that to merely be feels wasteful or unproductive. I need to recapture peace, and so, I must retrain my over-worked, over-stimulated brain to relax, to enjoy, to appreciate and rejuvenate.

Recently, I joined a young friend moving out of his apartment. There was much to do, with a few big pieces of furniture to be moved, and plenty of little stuff, too. We’d have our work cut out for us to get the place emptied and cleaned by the 3:30pm deadline, when the key was due to the rental office. Cleaning seemed the best shot for me to contribute something significant, so while a few others worked on the big stuff, I retreated into the bathroom to scrub, alone with my silent and surprisingly surly thoughts:

Gosh, I hate cleaning. I know some people say they get great satisfaction from the before and after, but not me. Personally, I’m wishing for woodland animals to come and assist, but this is clearly not Disneyland and I am no Snow White. It’s just me and the toilet brush and a few sponges today. And it’s so hot in here. There go my glasses again, fogging up and sliding down my nose for the 100th time. Why can’t I have Lasik surgery???? I hate inhaling bathroom cleaner… this can’t be good for me. I don’t even clean my own house this well. My tub could sure use a good scrub. Gosh, I hate cleaning. And so on… for hours.

It was hard physical work and I came home to an empty house late in the afternoon – tired, dirty, salty and very fragrant. I’m not usually a bath-taker, but inspired by my earlier tub-scrubbing adventures, I thought, “A good soak in a hot tub may be just the thing to relax my aching muscles. A thoughtful friend had recently gifted me a bath-bomb with a prize at the center, and since I had never used one, and since I am sometimes impulsive and highly suggestable, I decided today would be a good day to try it. I had some time. I had opportunity. Inhaling, I caught a whiff of myself. I certainly had motive.

First giving the tub a quick necessary scrub, I ran water and placed my fluffy white terri-cloth robe just within reach. I called up the Zen music station on Pandora, strategically placing my phone where I could adjust volume as needed without fumbling it into the bathwater. With the softly waning late afternoon sunlight filtering through the glass block window, I settled into the tub and dropped the bomb.

The ball of mystery-material effervesced with such energy that it zoomed around the tub as if motorized. Soon it began to turn scarlet, transforming my bath water to sparkling rose’. Still it fizzed on, like a spherical miracle. The pink water, now silky to the touch emitted a lovely floral scent. I remembered the hidden prize inside just in time to chase down the disappearing bomb, holding it in my hands as it fulfilled its ultimate purpose in life. At its center was  a small silver cross charm, which I shined up with a towel and set to the side. How lovely.

With the excitement now over, I was ready for my soak. I leaned back and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply the scent of rosemary and lavender. Distracted by the delicate strains of a sitar, I reached over and pressed pause on Pandora, rendering the room finally still. Deep breath in. Slow breath out. A cardinal sang to me from outside the window. Breathe in goodness. Breathe out yuck. A clock ticked rhythmically, steady and dependable. Breathe in. Breathe out. I felt my spirit beginning to quiet. God reminded me of the scripture verse He’s had me parked on for the past 9 months: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)” Breathe in deeply God’s perfect love. Breathe out fear… slowly… intentionally… mindfully.

Eventually, I heard the front door of the house open. My husband announced his homecoming with bustling footsteps and the rustle of plastic grocery bags as he moved toward the kitchen to prep for dinner. I dried and dressed and silently blessed my friend for the gift of a bath bomb with a prize inside. I thanked God for my husband and for the few minutes of solitary respite. My mind was clearer. My attitude was better. My heart was grateful, and I thought to myself, “Hey, this stuff really works!”

Retraining our brains really is possible, if we are intentional. You see, as we marinate in complaints, chaos, conflict or calculations, those are the poverties that pigment our experience of the world. But when we become meditative, mindful to experience the present fully and intentionally, and appreciating the gifts and presence of God, our experience of the world is transformed. The colors of gratitude and contentment permeate our very souls and remind us of the many riches with which we are blessed and that were ours all along.

The scent or rosemary and lavender followed me through the rest of my day. So did peace. I took notice and was grateful – for a body and muscles that work… for glasses to help me see… for air-conditioned shelter, fresh hot water and a bath tub… grateful for soft sunlight, the song of a bird, for my loved ones, and for the steady and dependable presence of God.

Soaking my muscles in warm water and softly scented minerals had been good for me. Soaking my mind and soul in silence and solitude was golden. This practice of mindfulness will change you. It is already changing me, and I’m no good at it yet. But first, you must find quiet – to breath, to listen, to notice, to thank. Find your space. Find your rhythm. You don’t need any equipment to get started. But if by chance a friend gives you a bath bomb, mindfully appreciate the heck out of that thing.

Who’s got the bread?


Out of My Mind...

26993957_10155455234303458_7108299348357264900_nMy husband and I have had the privilege of helping to parent a few extra kids who for various reasons needed new environments in which to continue to grow. When we mention that to people, we get some raised eyebrows, and usually some kind words having to do with our bravery or self-sacrifice. We smile, say “thank you” and then tell the truth: We have gained more than we ever gave in those relationships. Our own biological children have only ever benefited. All of our lives have been far richer because of the presence of those sons God brought through other means than having given birth.

At the beginning, we wondered how we could possibly do it. Our home was already pretty full. There would be added expense to our already strained budget. How could we emotionally keep up with more than our four? But we took a chance or…

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Who’s got the bread?


26993957_10155455234303458_7108299348357264900_nMy husband and I have had the privilege of helping to parent a few extra kids who for various reasons needed new environments in which to continue to grow. When we mention that to people, we get some raised eyebrows, and usually some kind words having to do with our bravery or self-sacrifice. We smile, say “thank you” and then tell the truth: We have gained more than we ever gave in those relationships. Our own biological children have only ever benefited. All of our lives have been far richer because of the presence of those sons God brought through other means than having given birth.

At the beginning, we wondered how we could possibly do it. Our home was already pretty full. There would be added expense to our already strained budget. How could we emotionally keep up with more than our four? But we took a chance or two and found that our needs and those of our kids were more than met – every time.

Fast forward a few years, and God has enlarged the vision of caring for those who needed extra support from added “family”. God has been wooing us into a bigger story, one which invites others into the purpose, the joy and reward of what we have experienced. God started whispering, “What if…?” to us. What if other parents could feel the same call we had? What if we could help with resources? What if we were able to provide housing by purchasing small apartment building in which a host couple could “parent” a few youngsters (18-25) and help them into adulthood?

And A Seat at the Table was born. But, here’s the thing. We can’t do it all. And we really can’t do it all by ourselves. It’s a pretty big vision and it will require a lot – willing house parents, qualifying mentees, partnering agencies and of course, financial support. We sometimes fret about how in the world we can accomplish all of this! It’s far too much. It’s hard to know where to begin, much less how to proceed. It can be a little overwhelming.

A week or two ago I was reading the gospel of Mark in chapter 8, and God showed me something that I want to share with you. In this chapter, Jesus has for the 2nd time fed a multitude of people from just a few loaves and a few small fish. Again, there are thousands of hungry people. Again, there were baskets full of leftovers. Remember, this is at least the second time the disciples have taken part in a miracle like this. Between the two events, they have seen Jesus walk on water, His mere presence in their boat calming the wind and waves. They’ve seen multitudes healed by him, including the daughter of the Syrophoenician woman and a deaf and dumb man who could immediately hear and speak. They have also witnessed challenges by the religious scholars – the Pharisees and those who would cling to their religious traditions at the expense of true worship.

And now, in chapter 8, Jesus is teaching his disciples. He warns them to “beware the yeast of the Pharisees.” And I don’t know if they were hungry or what, but they realize they forgot to bring any provisions. As Jesus is teaching, a few side conversations are taking place. “How could we have forgotten to buy provisions?  Whose job was that? Why is Jesus talking about yeast? It must be because we forgot to bring any bread.” (my paraphrase, of course)

And Jesus overhears them, and you can almost read the astonishment in his voice. He seems incredulous. “Why are you talking about the bread? How can you still not see?” Jesus reminds them of how he fed first the 5000 and then the 4000, quizzing them each time, asking, “Do you remember?” and, “How many baskets were left?” And finally, “Do you still not understand?”

And that’s when God’s voice broke in for me, saying, “You see? I’ve got the bread! You don’t need to worry about the bread. I’ve got it. You guard the vision. You go and use the gifts I’ve given you and do what I’ve asked you to do. Enter into that to which you’ve been invited and don’t worry about the bread. I’ve got the bread.”

So what is your “bread”? What are you worrying over that God has already taken care of? What are the things He’s done in your past that have shown you that He’s got it? For us at A Seat at the Table, it feels like we need a lot of bread. But He has shown us again and again that we need not worry about the bread. He’s moved mountains for us as we’ve sought His wisdom and way. There really is no way we can do this on our own, with just our few loaves and fishes. But we serve the almighty God of the Universe – and He’s got the bread.



When I was a kid, my family owned a ramshackle cabin in rural Missouri. Using the term “ramshackle” might be dressing it up a bit – the center room was over a hundred years old; rooms had been added randomly; there was no plumbing; you get the picture – but it was forty-five acres of pure bliss for us.


We spent most weekends there. There were plenty of projects for us to work on. We planted a garden, built a split rail fence, painted and weeded and watered and scrubbed in the mornings and then headed to the river for some fun in the afternoons. At night we’d sit outside around a campfire singing our own songs and listening for the whippoorwills to sing to each other. The awkward and sizable birds would occasionally swoop in low to get a look at who was making all the ruckus in the middle of their romantic serenades.

We had a neighbor, almost as old as the cabin, who’d been a real-live cowboy. Old Joe had no family, but had an abundance of stories from his years as a cowboy. He had worked cattle, communed with real “Indians” and traveled with a carnival where he became known as Merry-Go-Round Joe. He had a million stories and would entertain us for hours in the telling of them. He would often come over on Saturday mornings and visit, joining us for “panny-cakes” and occasionally as he ate, he would slip his dentures out for a more comfortable chew. His eyes would grow misty as he reminisced about giving free rides to the kids from a local orphanage or recollected friends of his youth that he’d never see again.

Those younger days of struggle and  adventure were long over now, and his formerly strapping frame was now shrunken and crippled with arthritis so that he relied on a hand carved cane and hobbled when he walked. One day my dad asked him if his feet hurt. They did. He explained that he could no longer bend down to trim his toenails, and they’d grown long and painful.

The next day, my dad and I visited Joe at his cabin. Dad brought a wash basin, toenail clippers and wire cutters. Dad heated water on the old gas stove, poured that and some soap into the basin and sat the resistant old cowboy down. Then my father bent down and oh-so-gently removed old Joe’s shoes, peeled off his ragged socks and placed both feet in the basin to soak. After a brief soak, and now kneeling, my dad placed a towel in his lap and carefully trimmed Joe’s long, thick yellow nails.

Genesis 1:27 tells us God made humanity to “bear His image” into the world. I will never forget the image of my dad serving this man in such a humble and loving way. He had been given an opportunity -and a choice. He could walk away or he could love the old cowboy as Jesus would. He chose to love –  and the old cowboy soon came to know Jesus. He chose to love, and gave his children an image, etched forever in our memories, of what selfless love looks like.

In John 1 we read that “The true Light, who shines upon the heart of everyone, was coming into the cosmos …” and that God “… took on flesh … became human and chose to live alongside us… enveloped in undeniable splendor—the one true Son of the Father—evidenced in the perfect balance of grace and truth.”

God didn’t just ask us to love. He modeled it for us, giving sacrificially of Himself, laying down His own majesty, and shaping Himself into the humble person of Jesus in order to serve mankind. It’s almost unimaginable, but try with me, won’t you?… Imagine the “undeniable splendor” and “the brilliant light” embodied in this God/Man, Jesus as He humbly touches lepers, bringing healing. Can you even begin to fathom the Infinite Eternal God pouring Himself into human form – a weak vessel of flesh barely able to contain the light of the life inside, kneeling to wash His disciple’s feet?

Now, look at the words of Jesus from Matt. 5: “And you, beloved, are the light of the world… You are like that illuminating light. Let your light shine everywhere you go, that you may illumine creation, so men and women everywhere may see your good actions, may see creation at its fullest, may see your devotion to Me, and may turn and praise your Father in heaven because of it.”

Did you see it? The Light is calling us light. He’s asking us to bear His image – His light in us – into our worlds, so that “men and women everywhere” may see Him in us and turn to Him. He’s inviting us to join Him, loving as He loves. And we have a choice to make. We may walk away… or we may love like Jesus. My dad chose to love like Jesus, and I want to do that too.

God, help us to recognize that Jesus has bestowed upon us the mission and privilege of light bearing and loving. Help us to pay attention to the opportunities everywhere – the choices that are before us constantly. Jesus, help us to take up your mission, shine your light and love like You. Amen.





I’ve been counting my blessing this week.

I was in my car driving the other day, with the radio on the classical station playing Bach in the background. I was multi-tasking as usual, squeezing in some prayer time while driving. I started into my list… you know the one… all of the things that I’m concerned about. I feel like I know the best way to proceed, so I begin to instruct God as to what the path forward should look like in each situation. I have great ideas.

As I moved down my to-do list,  I was struck by a thought. A wave of gratefulness washed over me and I heard God’s whisper in my ear. “Those people you’re so concerned with? I gave them to you. They were mine first. I choose to share them with you.”

Here I was, presuming to instruct the God of the Universe about the care of my loved ones. The audacity!

I think of my sons, all of them… our sons, really – God’s and mine –  a few of His masterpieces, extravagantly shared with me. He designed and knew each of them before they were conceived, had planned for them before one of their days came to be, and even knowing that the task would be too big for me without Him, He decided to risk them to my care. What was He thinking???!!! I’m so thankful that He entrusted them to me.

I think of my husband. I’m pretty sure he was formed precisely for me, but he’s not really mine. He makes me a better person and God has used him to change and grow me in ways that would have been impossible without him. Our boys are better men and will be better husbands and fathers because of his example. He and I have shared such joy, but living out a lifelong covenant with someone is also sometimes hard, and he’s had to endure while some of my rough edges get knocked off (and there are more to go). Yet he endures with a smile. For that and for him I’m grateful.

My family – parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces, nephews, etc… I have an abundance and they are ridiculously good. They are perfectly quirky in all the best ways. They’ve taught me that everyone brings a unique and necessary voice to the table, whether we are just alike or gloriously different. I want such good for them – but the God with whom I share them wants more for them than I can begin to imagine. He cares for them more deeply than I ever could, and He shows it all the time. I’m so thankful that He chose to season my life with them.

I think of you, my friends. What grace, that God would shower me with so many of you, who seem made for me. He’s lavishly cared for me through you – throughout my life, wherever I’ve lived and in every season of life. You are precious to me, but He loved you first and loves you more. I’m so grateful that He has providentially arranged our journeys to meld along the way for a time. You are not mine but He shares you with me, and I don’t know why He’s graced me with such goodness, but your presence is just more proof of His extravagant love for me.

My list went on and on that day, and as I arrived at my destination, i sat in the parking lot for quite some time. In the quiet of my car, with soothing strains of a cello miraculously overcoming the chaos of the traffic all around me, God reminded me that my greatest blessings… all that I am most thankful for… are my people.

And so, while I’ll continue to pray for you, I believe that He knows exactly what you need. And I believe that in His great love for you, He’ll provide it. In my prayers for you, I will trust Him more and me less. His plan is better than anything my puny imagination can drum up.

So, Happy Thanksgiving. You are the texture and richness and soul of this life. You are the bounty that makes life worth living and I’m so thankful – for you, to you, and to Him.

 “Whenever you cross my mind, I thank my God for you and for the gift of knowing you.” (Phil. 1:3)






New Blog Post: Calling for a Truce



Seriously, can we stop this? Tuesday is over. Your candidate did or did not win, or maybe none of the candidates was “yours” and you feel disenfranchised. I’m sorry.  Or congrats. Whichever applies to you.

Either way, here’s a news flash: OUR GOVERNMENT IS NEVER GOING TO SAVE US!

I know, I know. The president is important and powerful and the election was a big deal. But please think back with me over the past 50 years. I know, some of you can’t because you weren’t born yet. I’m sorry. Read a history book. And some of you would like to go back further. I’m sorry. In fairness to our younger friends, we’ll stick with the last 50 years. Are you remembering? Notice that NOT ONE of those administrations has created the idyllic world they promised in their campaign speeches. NOT ONE.  And NOT ONE has ended the world as we know it. NOT ONE.

I don’t want to go into all of the whys or why nots, because frankly, I’m tired of the debate. I just want to make one point to all of us, but especially to my Christ-following friends.

Wherever you landed post-election, let’s not sacrifice kindness for the sake of gloating and contempt or anger and disappointment. Your words matter. It doesn’t matter if they are spoken or written. When you re-post someone else’s harsh words on a social media, those words become yours, too. However you comment – with your nose in the air, looking down at the schmucks whose candidate lost, or with fingertips dripping with disdain for the ignorant saps who voted for the winner – it matters.

Here’s another news flash: All democrats are not smarter than libertarians who are not more freedom-loving than republicans who don’t have all the answers either… please don’t make me go on about additional parties. You get the point.

When we fire pointed words across a loud and chaotic screen filled with venom, launching attacks at random into cyberspace, we do real damage. We wound. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s not. I can’t tell anymore. We just launch, and launch and launch, irrespective of the target, blowing up relationships, discarding friendships regardless of former affections, letting go of actual people in favor of holding on to talking points or ideals or the grand hope that some candidate is going to change everything. We imagine our point/counterpoint chess game will lead to the checkmate to end all checkmates. But it never does.

We say things on social media sites to people we love that we would never say if we were face to face across a cup of coffee with them. The absence of proximity makes us forget that the person we’re shaming or condemning may have shared holidays with us or changed our diapers or mentored us in some way and might have some actual hard-won wisdom underneath their gray hair and bifocals. Physical distance conceals the fact that the magnificent point you think you just scored took a big chunk out of a relationship with someone you love – a co-worker, a neighbor, a niece or nephew, cousin or friend.

What if we could just sit down and have an honest-to-God, face to face, eye contact conversation rather than blowing indiscriminate steam from everyone’s favorite blow hole, the internet? Crazy, I know… those days are fading fast. But is anyone else tired of seeing the “Go ahead and unfriend me if you don’t agree” posts? It’s exhausting.

I’m sorry. It’s been a long week.

I’ll get back to my one point. Scripture has so much to say about the importance of our words, our hearts and our actions toward each other.  Listen to some of these:

Jesus had some words about our words. He said this; “The heart overflows in the words a person speaks; your words reveal what’s within your heart.”

Might it be time to check our hearts, friends? What’s overflowing from us?

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Eph. 4:29)

This one isn’t about cussing, guys. Do your words build others up? Are they beneficial for those who listen?

“If you put yourself on a pedestal, thinking you have become a role model in all things religious, but you can’t control your mouth [or your keystrokes], then think again. Your mouth [and post] exposes your heart, and your religion is useless.” (James 1:26, italics mine)

“Whoever puts down another is not wise, but one who knows better keeps quiet.” (Prov. 11:12)

I’m not making these up!

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…” (Matt. 7:12)

Has this become a golden oldie? Have we forgotten the golden rule?

“If it is within your power, make peace with all people.” (Rom. 12:18)

How are you using your power?

Seriously, I could go on, and you’d get tired of reading, and that’s not good for my blog… But we human beings are created to bear the image of God into our world. We Christ-followers are to reflect Jesus into our spheres of influence. We are to love as He loved us.

I’ll end with one more, and I encourage you to do the same:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

You can change the tone of discourse, because your words matter. You have a sphere of influence. It goes way beyond your social media, and I’m begging you to use it. There are a million better ways to use your platform and your energies than to lambaste each other with one more “educational” article or superior comment.

Are you worried about the poor? Donate to a homeless shelter – give money, time, energy. Are you concerned with human rights? Use your voice, your hands, your influence to persuade – that’s almost a lost art. I promise your love will have more impact than your hate. Do you think education is the key? Go and tutor some kids. I can’t wait until you discover the power in that! Are orphans a passion? Adopt! Foster! You’ll be blessed beyond measure. Hunger, clean water, human trafficking… are those concerns? Do something beyond posting! Need ideas? Talk to me!

Our government is never going to save us. It’s never going to solve all the world’s problems. It will never even come close, no matter who sits in the oval office. But friends, we have more power than we know, in our words, in our actions, in our love. It really is up to us. And if we aren’t recognized by our love, we are missing the whole point.

For the literal love of God and each other, let’s quit sparring and actually combat evil in the world with good. Let’s replace hate with love. It really is up to us.

New Blog Post: Picking Tomatoes


tomatoMy dad planted this garden every spring. It was a family affair, with at least a half a dozen of us tilling, hoeing and seeding until we grew bored and began playing with the worms that the turnover of soil had exposed – often accidentally breaking them in half with our shovels, fascinated by the way they continued to squirm, one worm now two – and leaving the real work of gardening to our dad.

Some of my early and most peaceful memories are those of being outside with my dad. They aren’t physical memories, so much, but if I close my eyes and will it, the memory comes back to me in a sensory wave . I feel the sun on my fair pre-school skin, not yet so heavily freckled by so many summers. I can hear birds singing and insects buzzing around me. I feel the prickly grass on my tender young legs. The damp smells of soil and tomato plants mingle with the sweet scent of blooming irises and surround me. But the best part of the memory by far is the knowledge that my dad is close – showing me the parts of the tomato plant that need to be removed (suckers, he called them), horrifying me with an occasional tomato worm (have you seen those things???) and teaching me to identify the songs of the birds that serenade us there.

We planted all sorts of crops each summer, dependent on nothing but my father’s whims. Some years there were pole beans or zucchini. Radishes and onions made appearances. Occasionally we’d get crazy and grow watermelons or pumpkins. And there were always tomatoes. Other produce may have come and gone, but we never skipped tomatoes. Never.

I’m no good at growing things without my dad. I have a black thumb and kill plants, almost without exception. I’m okay with people. I grow those pretty well. But if it’s green and growing, please don’t leave it in my care. I don’t want to have to carry that kind of guilt.

I didn’t always like tomatoes, but one summer when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I cautiously dared to try them (again?) and discovered that I loved them. That summer’s crop was finally beginning to ripen and after a few lessons on how to check for color and feel, I’d somehow earned the privilege of being the one to pick them.  And on that hot St. Louis July afternoon, I filled my belly with slice after slice, relishing the still-warm-from-the-sun lightly salted sweetness. I sat at the dining room table amazed at how delicious they were and wondering how I’d missed this for so long. That summer, and to this day, when you get right down to it, I couldn’t get enough. They were heavenly.

Each day I’d ask my dad “May I pick the tomatoes?” and each day he would let me. I had so much fun picking them and eating them that I didn’t realize how much it pleased him to watch me gather and savor the ripe tomatoes that we planted together. But all these years later and with kids of my own, I’m certain he did.

I think life with God is a little like this. Look at this passage of scripture from Psalm 139:16; “… all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” And read this from Eph. 2:10; “For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago.”  Do you see it? I could go on and on, because scripture is full of similarly themed passages. God planned your life before one day came to be. He wrote your story, and with Him there are things He wants you to accomplish. He’s planted a spiritual garden in each of us, intended to bear a good spiritual fruit that will bring a taste of heaven to earth – for others, and for us!

And we can’t do it on our own. The fact is, we’re no good at doing any of it without Him. But with Him -teaching and showing and encouraging us – we can look forward to a bountiful harvest and a story well written.

I don’t know what seeds He planted in you, but if you ask me, there are a whole bunch of clues in looking back – at the experiences He’s provided, the things that bring passion and those that cause you to rise up in resistance. When do you feel closest to Him? When do you feel His favor or sense His smile? What do you stand against? Those ideas are the seeds, I think. And you should notice them. Nurture them. Water them. Give them lots of sunshine. And watch what happens.

For me, this means I’m paying better attention. I’m asking Him to show me what was planted. I’m asking to harvest the things that I KNOW he placed in me. For me, I recognize seeds of caring for orphans. I see the seeds of desire for racial harmony. I am certain there are seeds of binding up the broken and defending the oppressed. I don’t want those things to go unaccomplished in my life. I want to taste the fruit of the bountiful harvest He planned for me, way back when He planted those seeds.

What are some of your seeds? Are you paying attention? Maybe yours have to do with caring for children. Maybe your story includes stewarding the planet. Maybe He’s enabled you to make money so that you may invest more into God’s good work. Dream a little. Look for some clues. And then, explore. Don’t be afraid to get a little crazy. Your Father is whimsical. There are more possibilities than you can begin to imagine.

The One who carefully and lovingly planned your days can’t wait for you to taste the fruit of the work you accomplish together. And He lets YOU to pick the tomatoes.